Ok everyone, I’ve been putting this one off for years now, and now it’s time to finally speak about a big elephant in the room of the African-American community.
I will cut right to it……………. we have all seen the “Good and Bad Hair” scene from School Daze, heard the difference between the typical complexion of house negroes versus yard/field negroes, know about the paper bag parties that used to be practiced at Howard, Spelman, Morehouse, and other HBCU’s. We’ve talked about it to the point of exhaustion for as long as the African-American has existed, right? So why is it that we as black folks still deal with and talk about this?
The answer’s pretty simple……. it’s because no matter how much we run away from it, no matter how “inclusive” we have become within Black America (personally and professionally), it STILL matters.
When I was in business school a few years back, I was at an event and ran into an undergrad who at the time was president of the Howard University Student Association. We were talking about something, then I said “Aight man, I see you working that light privilege.” We both fell out laughing about it, but there was a little truth to the joke that I made (just like most jokes we make). Afterwards, I thought about what I just said, and thought that it was interesting, even then, that it’s still a true statement.
Some of you are wondering what I mean when I say “light privilege”. The way I define “light privilege” is how those of African descent who have fairer skin are more likely to be considered beautiful and attractive, intelligent, more pleasant, and “better” than those of darker complexion; not just by our own, but also by “mainstream America” as well. This theme is directly comparable to the Tim Wise theory on White Privilege, and reinforced by a recent blog entry from The Root comparing the media reaction to Two R&B Singing Homewreckers within the Black Community.
To go even further, ask yourself this question: How many more records would Angie Stone, India Arie, and Fantasia had sold if they looked like Alicia Keys, Rihanna, Ciara, or Beyonce? Then ask yourself this… are you subconsciously thinking the latter set of paper bag passing women are automatically better looking? I know I did (in a King Geoffrey Joffer voice). And you know what, so do they, and so does most people. After all, light skinned women are better looking, right?
Let’s be real: To show you how we view fair complexion blacks in our community (from a hater’s perspective) if I described to you a woman who is stuck up, pledged AKA or Delta at a HBCU, always has guys falling all over her, can’t cook, is mean, needy, and will slash your tires if you ever left her………….. or if I described a man who walks in the club, dresses real refined, and is narcissistic, pompous jerk who expects women to holla at him and buy HIM drinks (yes I actually know people like this, and it’s sad); what would be your first image of who this respective female and male could be? It definitely wouldn’t be in the image of Mo’Nique or Rickey Smiley would it?
In some instances, being “light” is not always a blessing; sometimes it can be a “detriment”. Months ago, my big sister in blog at Black ‘n’ Bougie wrote an entry related to how skin color is still an issue, even in 2010. Other than the general theme of the article, what stuck out to me was a conversation she overheard in Walmart about a mother who was glad her son was dark skinned because “She did not want her boy to look like ‘no punk’”. Believe it or not, subconsciously, gangsta rappers excluded, we associate a man’s skin tone with his level of masculinity (and ability to be a protector) in most cases. I didn’t have to deal with that aspect too much until I moved out Southern Cali. Speaking of……….
Now to tell on myself a little bit. Growing up in LA, a city where your body and your looks are the fashion and not your clothes, I had to deal with both the blessings and curses of being of fairer complexion. In LA, most who were of fairer complexion always “got the guy/girl”, especially at my high school. If you were light skinned, had “good hair”, and didn’t have dark brown eyes, you could write your own ticket with the opposite sex. Did I buy into it back in the day? I would be lying if I said no. And honestly (telling on myself here), I even put my hat in the ring back in 11th grade when I rocked the S-Curl and threw some hazel contacts in eyes (only VIP folks get to see the visual evidence of that, so don’t go stalking my facebook photo albums because it’s not there, sorry). Once I did that, the amount of women I knew in high school DOUBLED within a semester. Go figure! By the time I reached senior year, I shut that experiment down and went back to the short cut with regular contacts. The same women would still talk to me, but they weren’t as interested anymore when I stopped playing the “light skinned pretty boy” game, even though I was pegged as a future Kappa all throughout senior year of high school, even by faculty of my high school (no diss to the Nupes, but somebody done told them wrong, LOL).
Has my complexion helped me to get opportunities I wouldn’t have received otherwise over the course of my life? I don’t think so. I believe that I have legitimately earned my place in this world based on what’s in the head, and not what’s on the outside. Of course, some may never vocalize it, but some will believe my looks and skin tone had something to do with it. If looks were that powerful, I would already be further along in my career than I am now. One of these days, we may evolve as a people and begin to stop being hypocrites and hold each other accountable for the way we treat each other the same way we look to hold white Americans accountable for how they treat us. We are all beautiful, dynamic, talented, and special in the eyes of God (in our unique ways), regardless of how much melanin we have. I know this blog entry won’t provide the cure, but at least it calls out that centuries old elephant in the room, which is what my intention was.
What has been your experience with this concept over your lifetime? Has it been more of a blessing or curse for you? We all come from different backgrounds, so our experiences will be different. Go ‘head and share…………
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