11
Apr
13

RichBrand featured on TVONE website

I was blessed back in December when I got a phone call from Hasani Pettiford, the host of TVOne’s “Love Actually”, where I was asked to take part in a TVOne.tv feature that highlight some of the attributes of a good man. As far as what category I was selected for, I will let the video in the link  below speak for itself.

But to re-emphasize, I was definitely humbled by this opportunity, and concurrently it will challenge me internally to stay focused on doing right by the women in my life, whether I date them or not. For the other guys who were part of this project, I think it’s a great opportunity for us men to baseline each other and ensure that we continue to grow in all aspects and socialize the standard that needs to be out there.

Hope you enjoy the video! Be Blessed!

RichBrand is one of Hasani’s Hand Picks

12
Jan
13

From whence I came: Childhood in LA

 

For those who know me, they know that I take full ownership of my Angelino heritage and I don’t shy away from the elements of growing up there that have influenced my life to this day. Since it is coming up on 15 years since I have left LA, I felt it was time to revisit some of the biggest influences on my 18 years that I lived there. So I hope you enjoy this pictoral stroll down memory lane that I captured when I was in LA most recently for the holidays.

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This is where I spent most of my childhood (up to 11 years old) in the neighborhood that’s now known as Little Ethiopia, right on Fairfax Blvd, one of the busiest streets in West LA. The window you see in the top left is the main bedroom for the apartment I stayed in. From a high yella baby up through elementary school, this was home for me.

 

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Brookins Community AME Church was my home church growing up as a kid all the way through high school. This church will always be home to me, even after they filmed UGK’s “International Players Anthem” video here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awMIbA34MT8

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When my grandma would take me to church, she always loved to go to 8AM service. And since she taught Sunday School and didn’t want everyone in the church to see her walk out early, she would always sit on the 2nd pew from the back (as shown here).

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Since I was with my grandma all the time, I had to be in Sunday School as well. Sunday School was always held in the church basement, with each level having their own space to get their lesson. This was also where every choir came to warm up and robe up before they went upstairs. This is also where they taped the reception portion of the UGK video. 

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Apparently, I was born with a musical gift, and it was one that my mom recognized early on, so at 7 years old, I became a member of the Buds of Promise Children’s Choir at Brookins. That began an 11 year stint of choir singing, which included becoming a founding member of the Majestic Voices Youth Choir, along with being a member of the SoCal AME Youth Choir.

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This house here was home to a bunch of different activities, including some choir rehearsals, YPD meetings, and opening gifts from Black Santa. The memory that stands out the most here was back in the 80′s when Mrs. Fields would serve breakfast. I’m talking grits, chicken, eggs, sausage, pancakes, and BACON! I’m not talking Vons/Ralphs/Albertsons bacon, I’m talking the bacon with the rinds on it that left you sucking on them after the meal.

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Before I started public school, my mom had me in private schools for the first several years of my life. Out of nowhere, she decided to send me to Carthay, which was right up the street from where I lived. I swear I got into some sort of trouble at LEAST once a week going there. Had more fights in my one year and change there than the rest of my life COMBINED!

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Coming home from school everyday, regardless of how much money I had in my pocket, I would make a stop at the 7-Eleven on Fairfax to get my Bazooka Joe gum fix or play whichever video game they had in there at the time. The one I blew a lot of allowance money on was Sega’s “Shinobi” game.

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1117 Orange Grove was a refuge for me (or my mom, depends on how you ask it). Too many memories here to go over. The first time I heard rap music, danced for the family on Christmas, and found out the hard way what happens when you drink mouthwash ALL happened here. But don’t get it twisted, many a day I had to go out to the back and pull a switch off the tree so that Moma-Si (my great-grandmother) could (once again) remind me who was running things there.

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After a year and change at Carthay, I was pulled out in order to attend arguably the highest ranked elementary school in LA: Wonderland Ave. Elementary School . At first I was PISSED because I had JUST earned my stripes with my peers at Carthay, and now I had to leave to attend a school full of “others”. Silver lining was that my bus stop to go to Wonderland was at Carthay, so that bought me an extra year to hang with them. In the end, I began to learn at an early age how to interact with a diverse group of people.

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Right when I was about to finish up elementary school, my mom decided to up and get married. When that, we moved on over to the Mid-Wilshire area on Dunsmuir, where we stayed all throughout my middle school days.

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Graduating from Wonderland and moving on to Palms was a shock to the system to say the least. To simply put it, I felt like I was back at Carthay all over again, only some of the antagonist had older brothers with guns. Honestly, this was the worst 2 years of my life and many tears were shed, but I got stronger and wiser as a result of it.

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Everyone knows how important the barber shop is to the black community. This one here is where I got my haircut all throughout middle school and part of high school. Shoobie used to hook ya boy UP (when I had hair).

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After the blood, sweat, and tears of Palms, it was time to move on to get some more. Westchester High School!!! I remember going into school wanting to do it all and be it all, but looked up after sophomore and was farther away from what I wanted for myself. Eventually I got there, but then realized that we will always be works in progress.

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Once I got into high school, around the same time was when my parents made their first home purchase. I felt we were moving on up like the Jeffersons when we got into this place. I won’t go into the transformation that has occurred here in the close to 20 years they have been here (and the only house my little brother knows), but I was definitely happy to be in the Baldwin Hills area now.

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Since I lived not as close to Fred’s anymore, and the risk of riding my bike through the 18 St Gang (largest gang in LA) territory to get to Fred’s to get my hair cut, I decided to move on to Barber Shop Row on Crenshaw to get my hair cut. The place I went to was All That Barber Shop, where you saw everything get done from Dj Quik-style presses for the pimps to fade-ups to relaxer treatments (yes LA was, and still is, big on having that good hair, even for the guys).

Everything you just read and saw were arguably the biggest influences, along with no-nonsense parents, that got me (tuition free) to here………………

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…………..and back, and BEYOND. Of course there were things in between, such as Top Teens, AME YPD, Young Black Scholars, my peer group growing up, etc that definitely had their share in it. My journey thus far from 1980 to 2013 has thus far not been one of perfection, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. A lot of Monday Morning Quarterback conversations I have had with myself over the years, but who knows where things would be in my life if I didn’t go through (and fail some of) the trials and tests that I went through. Despite all, God is good! The rest of life will be a ride, but it always good to reflect on from whence you came.

 

06
Nov
12

RichBrand Rant: Election Day 2012 and my 4 year wishes

I remember on Election Day 2008, I got on my laptop at work, neglected all of my work that day (sorry Paul) and wrote how I felt about the 2008 election. Now, in the words of the late Rev. Calvin Nelson Sr, “Lord………. Here we are again!”

We as a nation are once again at a point where a decision has been made on the direction we will mandate this country takes by way of our government.  Of course the government will not be all Democrats, all Independents, or all RepubliKKKans (yes I spelled it like that on purpose for a reason), but in the end, this is what we will have to deal with. Bipartisan cooperation and adult behavior will be key the next 4 years if we want to move this country forward. With that being said, instead of me sitting here going on a rant related to why folks need to get to the polls to vote for Obama (which is my view), I’m going to list 6 things that I hope get accomplished in Obama’s second term which I know will NOT get accomplished in a Romney white house. Keep in mind this is mostly based on observation as I do not claim to be a very political person.

1. Minority Education stimulus bill: One thing that is clear is that our public education system is in decline nationwide (hence why my little bro is in private school more out of necessity than privilege right now). If we want to compete with the world in STEM-ready Americans, and do critical things such as maintain our space program, and best innovate for the future, our workforce should be populated based on who had the best paid education. Education is turning into a privilege based system and our youth who are going to Eastern SHS in DC or Dorsey High School in LA should have the same level of educational opportunity and same level of resources as the youth who are at Glenbrook South HS in Glenbrook, IL. Now, the key to making this successful is accountable oversight to ensure the funding (from tax increases on the rich) not only goes to schools that need it, but also that it is disbursed properly (with accountability controls in place) and students come FIRST. In other words, don’t use it to raise salaries or provide bonuses for school district employees, but it should go to adding books to classes, updating a school’s technology infrastructure, etc.

2. Revision of the drug policy: One thing that was not talked about virtually AT ALL during the election campaign this year is how each candidate would revisit and possibly revamp the drug policy. In my humble opinion, the policy is skewed to impact minorities in this country, it’s a cost waste to tax payers, and the only clear winners of this policy are the private prison systems. For starters, crack and cocaine should be sentenced equally, and the illegality of drugs should be based on human side effects and not based on who can make money off of it. To put it another way, if Phillip Morris found a way to make money off of marijuana, trust and believe K Street would be lit up with lobbyists trying to make it legal.

3. Tax Breaks for Companies that outsource to 3rd party companies within the US: There has been talk about jobs going overseas on both sides of the aisle, and of course there are varying perspectives (on and off the record) on how this should be approached. Speaking from experience, the corporate operational strategy of outsourcing specific front and back office processes is here to stay, REGARDLESS of who is in office. Companies who outsource to 3rd party companies (Xerox, Accenture, Genpact, CSC) are not included in any tax laws (penalties or benefits) that relate to outsourcing. If you want a win win for Wall Street and Main Street, if a company decides to move processes to a 3rd party company, reward that company AND the 3rd party company if they utilize American employees for those jobs. Some of the aforementioned companies have BPO operations here in the US. Give them incentive to expand.

4. Consolidate our military and spend smarter: Let me make this clear. WE SHOULD NOT BE THE WORLD POLICE!! Yet, our level of military spending has put us in that position to date. Granted that there are places that we should set up shop, per se, in order to ensure the safety and security of our planet by way of keeping tabs on certain areas. But why do we have military bases in places in which we haven’t been at war with (or thought of going to war with) in DECADES. Why do we still have military bases in Germany and Japan?? We are cool with them now, and Hitler’s dead. I think we can leave now *kanyeshrug*. And if we need to have bases set up, why don’t we set one up in Africa to ensure the safety and security of the African continent? Things that make you go “Hmmmmmmmmmm”.

5. Overturn Citizens United: This one here is, in my opinion, wishful thinking because I don’t see both sides of Congress agreeing to it. I’m sure everyone who is reading this is sick and tired of all of the negative ads that took place during the election and how Citizens United directly impacted that. I don’t care what Romney says, CORPORATIONS ARE NOT PEOPLE!!! Without going into it too much, the fact that there is no cap on how much a company can contribute to a political candidate is very dangerous to our democracy and that’s the true compromise of our “freedom”.

6. Restructure bankruptcy laws to include ALL debt: Given what our economy has gone through in the last several years, lots of folks have been filing bankruptcy as a way to start over and reset themselves from a financial and credit standpoint, although folks have been taking advantage of it for as long as it has existed (Donald Trump, TLC, Toni Braxton to name a few). However, one of the things that you are not allowed to write off as part of bankruptcy are student loans. Regardless of where your credit stands, that money will still be owed to the bank of which you received that loan. The bankruptcy laws in this country do not completely fulfill their purpose if ALL debt (“good” or “bad”) is not inclusive to the laws (including education debt).

So there are just a few changes that I would like to see that are an outside chance of happening under Obama, but NO chance under Romney. I’m sure there are things that you the reader would like to see changed that I didn’t mention, but feel free to comment below and give your input and what you would want changed.

 

17
Oct
12

5 People you won’t avoid at Homecoming

It’s October, and in the HBCU world, that means it’s time for HOMECOMING. Yes, that wonderful annual event that most of us who didn’t just go to class then go home look forward to. The time where you reunite with old friends, old frienemies, your frat, your sorors,  recollect on the good times and the bad times from undergrad,  and possibly make some new connections along the way. While those who are currently in undergrad and most likely those who graduated in the last 2-3 years will partake in activities throughout the entire week, the majority of alumni will partake in the events that go from thursday night through sunday afternoon. And although it seems like enough time to cover ground, the weekend usually goes into overdrive, and then you wake up and it’s Sunday and it’s time to go back home. Understandably so, a lot of alumni, regardless of age, go HARD during this time and try to maximize their opportunity for the 72 hours they are in town.

What comes with the territory are some realities that all of us must face whenever someone decides to partake in homecoming. As I checked into my flight earlier today, I was pondering upon all possible scenarios that could happen this weekend, and got myself into the mind state to expect the unexpected and stay ready for it.

With that being said, here are 5 people that, unless you just do not go ANYWHERE, you most likely WILL have to deal with during your 36 hours at Homecoming (along with some honorable mentions).

1. The EX
The majority of us have that person that you went to school with that you “have history” with either when you were in school or once you graduated. And if you two are not on good terms at the time of the breakup (or more importantly not on good/speaking terms now), that encounter will be an awkward one, especially if you run into them AND their new boo/spouse (if they feel confident enough to bring them to homecoming). So many different emotions could enter your head at that exact moment when the encounter happens. However, the best road to take is to just be cordial, keep your head, then keep it moving. Remember, they are your EX “situation” for a reason, especially if you happen to be in a situation your damn self.

2. The one who got “Stephan’d”
You remember that one person back in undergrad who was too (shy/corny/fat/skinny/unattractive), and you may not have seen them in years, then all of a sudden, they show up to the friday night alumni party as if they just took this elixir and became a totally different person. Maybe they got in the gym and made something happen, maybe they finally grew into their big head, maybe they finally went to the dermatologist. But either way, something is DEFINITELY different. Now if said person walks around with confident humility about theirs, then its cool. HOWEVER, if their new found swag comes with a narcissism that’s intolerable, that’s not a good look. Either way, show them their props, and if they do happen to be cool now, rock with it and enjoy.

3. The Known Hoe……………… and their spouse
This one is tricky because of a reason I will expound upon later, but suffice it to say, this is the one girl who slept with the entire defensive secondary of the football team and half of Spring 200x of a fraternity, or the dude who slept with all of the girls on your floor your sophomore year, and about 5 of your line sisters the year after that. YEAH…………. THAT PERSON who you might have slept with your damn self but want to try and act righteous. It’s probably been years since you have seen them; but after some years, you run into them again if you haven’t run into them on Facebook or Instagram already trying to get another taste, and………… they introduce you to their spouse. Of course the first thing that pops into your head is “Who walked down the aisle with THIS HOE?!?”, but 99.99999% percent chance that the spouse did not go to undergrad with you, them, or anyone in their 2nd or 3rd degree network (LinkedIn users know about that), and has NO clue about his/her past exploits. However, this is a time that you keep your grit, have a brief elevator conversation, and (once again) keep it moving. After all, maybe he/she had a come to Jesus moment, went celibate, got his/her life together, and found the right person for them.

4. The One that Got Away (or you should have at least gotten at back in the day)
This person could concurrently be #2 on this list, but when you run into this person, the most likely first emotion that enters is regret. This could be someone that was feeling you back in the day, and you could have had them if you wanted to, BUT you decided to pass on them thinking that “you could do better”. OR, it’s that person that YOU wanted, but for some reason, you never made your interest known, and you let years pass by and nothing ever happened. Now, this person could be married now (or YOU are married), which means that all you can do is sit and wonder what could have been (hindsight is 20/20). Then again, both of you could actually be single enough and, who knows, this could be the opportunity to make up for lost time. Either way, there’s nothing wrong with thinking back on the old times, but either way it goes, stay in your lane.

5. The One(s) you won’t Let out of your Bubble of Perception
I can’t let this one pass because we are ALL guilty of this one. Given that I have written on this topic before, I won’t go into too much detail. This person (or set of people) could very well fall into #2 or #3, and a lot of other categories, but you have to do what you can, in theory, to “empty your cup” of those people. Think about if you have worked over the years to self-improve, and people still hold you to who you used to be, and how you would feel. Although you say you don’t care, you would care a little and subconsciously feel some type of way about it. So, simply put, to use an old phrase “don’t dish it out, if you can’t take it”. Take people for who they are TODAY and ……………………………………… ah hell, who am I kidding? You only have 72 hours in town, you ain’t got time to get to know the new version of people you don’t rock with in the first place. LOL

So in summary, make sure you keep your head during homecoming weekend (alcohol is NOT an excuse), embrace every situation you are faced with (because God put you in it for a reason), and just have a GOOD TIME!! See you on the yard!!!

Honorable Mentions:

  • Mr. or Ms. YOLO – the person who spends an entire paycheck on tables and bottles. After all, you only live once. This person could also be #2.
  • The guy/girl with the Hall Pass – since they left their boo/spouse at home, they are clearly looking to have some things stay at homecoming, except diseases, children, and/or a stalker.
  • The Perp – this is the person who thinks they can front like they went to the school, or they think they can perp a NPHC org and get away with it at homecoming without proper validation, given that people won’t care to verify them like that.
  • The interracial couple (for HBCU’s only) – Self-explanatory, and those who know do understand the exceptions that will not get you the side eye.
  • The “out of place” boo – the one who, no matter what, just can’t seem to fit in or have a good time with their SO, and you should have just left them at home.

If there are any that I missed, definitely feel free to leave a comment below. 

06
Aug
12

RichBrand Rant: The Black Church and Gay Marriage

I just read an article that was posted by a friend of mine on facebook related to a group called the Coalition of African American Pastors, a group of mostly southern based clergy, who disagree with President Obama’s stance on gay marriage and are telling the Black Church to withdraw their support from the President, meaning do not contribute to his campaign and stay home on election day, unless the President agrees, more or less, to renege on his stance (or worse case, meet with them and “explain himself”).

Wait……….what?!?!?!

Ok, let’s get something out of the way. RichBrand the Christian believes that marriage before God (key phrase: Before God) is defined as a union between a man and a woman. However, in the great United States of America, marriage is also a legally binding contract between two people that would like to enter into said union. There’s this thing that all married couples have in their personal “vault” somewhere, and that’s called a marriage certificate, which makes their marriage legal by law (key phrase: by law). Now, a minister within a church (regardless of faith) could preside over the ceremony and have delegated legal power to sign the certificate (most times upon completion of the ceremony and official exchange of vows and rings) and declare the marriage legal within the eyes of the state in which the ceremony was completed. Or…………………. you can go on down to your local city hall or your preferred AC/Vegas chapel and have the ceremony done by someone with the same legal power of that state.

There’s a difference between married in the eyes of the church versus being  married in the eyes of the law, technically. However, most Christians who get married arrange it to where the marriage concurrently becomes binding in the eyes of the law and the church, especially given that some ministers will not perform the ceremony without the certificate on stand by to sign upon completion of the ceremony. And I won’t go into detail about the benefits you receive by law when you’re married (tax breaks, health benefits, inherited power of attorney, etc).

With all that said, I believe that homosexuals should not get married within the Christian church. However, to deny them the same rights, privileges, and benefits of heterosexuals by local, state, and federal law because of who they choose to love is wrong. (In my Katt Williams voice) This right here, homey, is exactly what Gandhi was talking about when he said “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

So back to where I was going with this. So the CAAP decides they want to turn their back on a President who has your overall best interests at heart with most of his policies because of this ONE issue??? That’s almost as asinine as some of my black friends who backed Bush in ’04 on the same ONE issue. So this is the train that CAAP wants to ride? How about there are some other “trains” you need to ride on that are more important to our black community. For example………..

1. Dealing with the breakdown and demise of HETEROSEXUAL relationships in the Black Community (several sub categories under that which I will not dilute this blog entry with).
2. The high level of crime in minority communities leading to more and more deaths every day and how local law enforcement is just chilling and letting it happen (Southside Chi, I feel for y’all).
3. Infrastructure in the minority communities is outdated and not up to modern standards, allowing for easy access to work, live, and play.
4. Lobbying state, local, and federal officials for more investment into education in our public schools, which at this rate could turn minorities and the poor in this country who can’t afford private school into a permanent underclass.
5. Questioning,a la Ron Paul, why we spend so much of our tax dollars on stuff we don’t need (bases all over the world in countries we haven’t been at war with for decades, and all the money spent in Iraq, Afghanistan) versus stuff we DO need (all the aforementioned points above, and then some).

But naw, you Uncle Ruckus acting clergy want to get together, and waste the tithes of YOUR congregations to go on Fox News, put up a wack and non-informative website, and deny the President a second term on this ONE issue that does not have financial, social, or spiritual impact on the lion’s share of your congregations, or the congregations of the Black Christian Church. Real talk, you really need to check that alarm clock.  In the words of Atlanta mayor, Kasim Reed, “Stop comparing (Obama) to the Almighty, and start comparing him to the ALTERNATIVE.” And if you decide to keep this up, your personal Old Testament battle is going to cost the minority community collectively the WAR.

I hope your respective congregations are smart enough and grounded enough in the Word of God to not get Karl Rove’d into staying home in November (or just as bad, vote for Romney) because of your short minded views. With the CAAP out there, who needs voter suppression laws when we are suppressing our own vote?! At the end of the day, if our communities still drag behind in infrastructure, education, economic quality, healthy bodies and relationships (things that Christ himself would probably care more about), then you can look back on this moment, look yourself in the mirror, and know you could have done more to remedy that, but decided to fight a battle that was less relevant to your flock’s spiritual balance.

As a final remark, to the black clergy that is not down with CAAP, when are you going to follow the lead of Rev. Otis Moss, III, and call these guys out??? You have an obligation too, so don’t skate on that either.

Ok, I’m done………..

29
Apr
12

Reflections on the LA Riots

This entry is a tad long winded and more of a memory dump versus anything really structured, so bare with me and thanks in advance for putting up with me. 

When you get older, certain recollections begin to slowly fade away, and as I try today to reflect on where I was (physically and mentally) 20 years ago, it will be bittersweet to go back into the mental rolodex to share with my few readers on this time as a young black man growing up in Los Angeles.

A lot of folks associate the LA Riots that started 20 years ago today on April 29th, 1992 as an event that was solely triggered by the Rodney King verdict, in which 4 LAPD officers (3 white, 1 latino) were caught on camera making beating the crap out of Rodney King, and a year later were summarily acquitted by an all-white jury jury of their “peers” after the trial was relocated to Simi Valley, CA, a location where the jury pool was more “advantageous” to the defense. However, the relationship between authorities and the black community were already on thin ice before the verdict was even a thought in the minds of most folks in LA, let alone the rest of the country.

One incident in particular that was in proximity to the Rodney King incident was the Latasha Harlins incident that also happened in 1991, the same year the Rodney King beating took place. Latasha was a 15 year old young black woman in Los Angeles who walked into a asian-owned convenience store as a regular patron and the cashier accused Latasha of stealing. As you see in the link above, they got into a heated argument, and as Latasha tried to leave the store, the cashier shot Latasha in the head (sounds familiar to Trayvon Martin doesn’t it?). The case went to trial, where the cashier was ONLY convicted of voluntary manslaughter, and sentenced to 5 years probation. At this point in my life was when I got the talk from my mom and stepdad about making sure you look as transparent as possible when walking through a convenience store.

Sidebar: The lesson above was one I learned first hand when on my way to middle school one day. I was stopping through to the AM/PM mini market on Motor and Palms one morning to hang with one of my boys as he got something to eat (I had an early breakfast at a restaurant so I wasn’t hungry). When you grow up in LA, 55 degrees is cold to you, so in my Cali-chill I kept my hands in my pockets the entire time in the store. As I was walking out, the manager of the store all but jumped over the counter and proceeded to question me and my friend and asked us to empty our pockets. All I could ask was “Why? What did I do?” and all he could respond with was “You won’t steal from me again, not today my friend”. Of course he felt like BooBoo the fool when all I had in my pocket was a stick of gum, my wallet, ChapStick, and my house keys. But it was a lesson that stuck hard with me as a young kid in LA.

SO when you add up the incident above, add in a mix of racist policies coming out of Parker Center (for LA outsiders, that’s the main hub of LAPD, named after an enemy of the black and brown communities in LA, former police chief William H. Parker, and was ran at the time by an apprentice of his, Daryl Gates) and have been coming out of Parker Center since the 60′s, the black community had already had it up to HERE (whatever HERE means to you). So that brings me to April 29th, 1992………

DAY 1:

At the time, I was attending a predominantly Caucasian gifted magnet elementary school in the Hollywood hills where I had to get bused in to make it to class everyday versus some of my classmates who got dropped off by their parents in a Benz. At 11 years old, even though I knew of the racial differences between me and my classmates (you could count the black folks on one hand in my class), I felt like I was one of them, despite the constant reminders from home that I really wasn’t and how I had to be better. Coming home on the bus after a typical day of going back and forth in dozens with the cutest sista in my class (hi Cycette), it was a normal day for me as I made my 3 block walk from Saturn elementary back to the crib, I turn on the TV expecting to see my typical set of weekday afternoon shows (when I should have finished up my homework so I wouldn’t get the infamous Wonderland Ave. “homework notice”, UGH). Instead of that, I see every channel is broadcasting the Rodney King verdicts live in Simi Valley. The verdicts were read as I was on the bus back home, but Fox, NBC, CBS, ABC, KTLA, KCOP, all of them kept looping the same phrase spoke by the jury’s foreman:

“NOT GUILTY”
“NOT GUILTY”
“NOT GUILTY”
“NOT GUILTY”

At 11 years old, none of that made sense to me. Here I am, knowing the high level facts of the case, knowing that the basis of this trial was video tape proof that these officers beat the crap out of this dude beyond what was needed to subdue him (including using a taser gun on top of that), yet y’all let these dudes walk? I sat there watching the coverage going on pretty much numb as to how this could happen and how (although I didn’t have much of it then) common sense isn’t common. An hour and change passes by, then the coverage splits into 3 areas of LA: Florence and Normandie, where two wrongs didn’t make it right,  to the aforementioned Parker Center, where folks were acting a donkey, and to FAME (First African Methodist Episcopal Church), where the majority of LA’s prominent black preachers decided to convene and gather the community in an effort to have a peaceful protest to what was going on. In a weird way, my spirit was in tune with what was happening at FAME, but my heart threw that brick in Denny’s face. I could understand where our people were coming from at Florence and Normandie (a reaction that would have probably been lightly endorsed by the early 60′s version of the Community Resistance in Progress, or as commonly known around the country, CRIPS). But at the same time, knowing my black history, my frat brother would have been at FAME, figuring out a way to talk out our anger, then come up with a more peaceful alternative. As you can see on the Denny link, the LAPD got out of there to “ensure the safety of their force”. What the news didn’t tell us then was that most of those retracted officers were sent “north” to ensure that those communities would be safer. In other words, LAPD was sent to Mid-Wilshire, Beverly Hills, Culver City (west of Balogna Creek), Brentwood, Westwood, Hollywood (see where I’m going) and make sure that those communities are locked down while the black and brown communities destroy their own. At about 7:30, my parents couldn’t stop watching the coverage. It was even more real to my mom, who grew up under William Parker’s treatment of the black community and how that affected the family. She remembers growing up off of West Adams and going to Dorsey High School where this was everyday reality to her, and how she used that to make sure (to the best of her ability and reach) that I didn’t go through that as well. However, at 7:30, I needed a break from the coverage because there was something else on my mind at that time (what can I say, I’m a fan from the womb to the tomb *kanyeshrug*). After a compromise was reached, and that concluded, it was back to the live coverage. You could see more and more foolishness breaking out all over the city as more and more fires kept popping up over the city. I remember staying up with my parents until at least 1am watching what was going on. But I could only hang so long because I had to be rested for school.

DAY 2:

Waking up that morning, the last thing on my mind was what I saw on TV last night (outside the fact the Lakers won the game). My mind was on the International Food project we had in English class, which took place every Thursday for several weeks throughout the spring semester (my group went 2 weeks prior when our assigned theme was Dutch, and we got an A- so we could now relax). I had this day especially marked because today was ITALIAN day. Despite my (not knowing at the time) gluten allergy, I was all juiced up to have some pasta, pizza, and whatever else they were going to throw my way (insert Lil Jon shouting “YEAH”). So I was happily frolicking (yeah I said it, shut up) to my bus stop that day, and just waited there…………. and waited………………and waited……………….. then it was 8am, and I’m STILL waiting. Then it dawned on me……………..a handful of the bus stops on the route I was on were in the no public transportation zone , so as a result my bus route was not allowed to even go out that day, and I wasn’t going to make it to school that day. DAMNIT TO HELL!!!! I walked back to my house with tears in my eyes because these IGN’ANT REGGINS IN SOUTH CENTRAL COST ME MY ITALIAN FOOD DAY!!!!!

So, since I was stuck at home with nothing to do, I turned the TV back on and (in between Nintendo games) I was watching more and more of what was going on. The coverage that stuck out to me that day was in the morning when a huge conglomerate of latinos decided to loot some of the stores off Western and Adams (I remember that corner because at the time, the only Wendy’s damn near in LA was on that corner), and you could see them just taking stuff without abashment. But what had my jaw on the floor was when you saw a Ryder truck back up to one of the stores, and out the back comes about 6 mexicans who start an assembly line within seconds, and start loading stuff up to the truck. To say I couldn’t believe it was an understatement (and I’m sure if you’re reading this and have the image in your head of what it looked like, trust me it was worse than you’re thinking, LOL).

The same pattern of stuff continues throughout the day, and what was sad was that by this point, a lot of those folks who were looting (especially in the brown community) had NO DAMN IDEA what caused all of this, yet took advantage of the opportunity, As Martin and Carlos can attest to (LOL). For me, at that point, since I wasn’t going to school the next day anyway, Day 2 faded into……………..

DAY 3:

……………. The same thing kept happening all across the city. The only time the news faded away from this coverage was to show some coverage in Atlanta of local residents protesting outside of CNN headquarters of the “slanted” coverage that they were giving against black and latino residents of LA. But for me, three major things stuck out to me that day.

1. A member of our church, Ben Mayo (may God rest his soul) lost his printing business over in Leimert Park when some idiot thought the business wasn’t black owned and decided to blow up the place. This was personal because Ben was a father figure to me at Brookins AME growing up, along with his wife Arlene and daughter Staci who definitely looked out for me when I couldn’t look out for myself. Also, he was one of many in our church who had his own business and took every opportunity possible to give back to the community through that business (even giving some folks in church jobs at the time when the economy was acting up just so they could have something in their pocket to take home to their own families).

2. Of course, there was this moment as well………………. roll the clip.

3. The very tardy appearance of the Army National Guard getting into LA to do the job that LAPD refused to do. The only piss poor performance in my lifetime that was worse than this was during Hurrican Katrina in ’05. By this point, too much damage had been done to the black and latino communities of LA for the National Guard to make any real difference. In other words, half of the hood was burnt up.

SKIP to DAY 5:

The afternoon before, my mom got a call from one of her fellow Welcome Club members and gave her a heads up that Rev. Jesse Jackson was going to preach at 8am service, so make sure we’re there. (Sidebar: ladies, if you are beautiful and single, one of the quickest ways to find a man at a church is join the Welcome Club, because you’re the first face everyone sees when they walk into the house of the Lord. Just something to think about.) My dad, as a member of Male Chorus, knew to be there regardless because it was First Sunday and the Mass Choir always sings on First Sunday, but DEFINITELY make sure he’s there this time.

So we get to church around 7:30am, if memory serves, and it is already PACKED. Part of that was that the portion of the church that was next to the sound board turned into a mini-news center with every news outlet there to cover what Jesse Jackson had to say. When a famous person in the black community shows up to Brookins, we knew how to SHOW UP AND SHOW OUT. Everyone’s attire was Sunday Best, Pastor Kirkland was in the pulpit ON TIME today, and of course the incomparable Anna Moore shut the place down singing the church favorite “He’s Coming Back”. After all of that, Jesse came in, built the place up, and shut it back down again. When you left Brookins that day, most of us left with a renewed sense of energy, and more focus on staying with the fight and not letting this get us down, understanding that, when you look back on the struggles of the Negro in the “land of the free”, we’ve been through much worse. Yet, despite the progress, we still had a long ways to go.

AFTERMATH:

In the end, hundreds of businesses lost, $1 billion in damages, and dozens of lives lost, and what was worse was that we did it to ourselves. One positive thing that came out of it was the short lived “Truce in Nine Deuce”, initiated by NFL Hall of Famer Jim Brown in which rival gangs decided to put things aside and temporarily squash any beef that occurred up to that time. Although that truce is no longer in effect, the gang wars are nowhere near the level they were in the 80′s.

A year after the riots, the 4 police officers were brought to trial again in federal for civil rights violations. Although they were not convicted on every charge brought against them, there was some justice served in the process, although all 4 of them walk as free men as we speak today.

SO………

When looking back on this 20 years ago, and to see the similarities in times (to an extent), it concerns me how, in a time where this country just elected its first black POTUS, that the value of a black person’s life is still less than any other. How is it that you can have a Trayvon Martin, Prince Jones, Amadou Diallo, and countless others who have been killed in cold blood without consequence to the perpetrator, yet Michael Vick was in jail for 2 years for killing a dog? It speaks to an imbalance here that some folks are not willing to admit exists anymore. Although it took a few years for me to get the memo as a young man, knowing this reality back then, and understanding that as long as I can tan without turning red that I was never going to be immune to racism and oppression in this country, I knew that I had to make a way for myself to be successful and get there (more or less) on my own, and even when I do get there, it won’t ever stop. No amount of money or power can shield you from racism, prejudice, and mistreatment in this country, ask our President. But I digress…………….

All in all, the LA Riots of ’92 was definitely a “Where were you?” moment in American history, and having all but been right in the middle of it makes the reflection on it 20 years later that much more real. Fortunately for this country, this event, along with this one here contributed to 8 years of sanity in the White House (of course after that………….anyway).

If you remember where you were, how you felt, what you were going through at the time, definitely feel free to share below. 

11
Jan
12

The Consolation Prize Part II: Friendship

Based on a few conversations I have had with former female “fringes”, as my mom likes to call them, and why I no longer communicate with them, it made me realize that there was more than one Consolation Prize that you should factor in. Of course, the first one talked about being hooked up with the sub-par friend. Now this time, I want to talk about something that is a lot more common, something a lot of people are willing to accept and grit up about, even though in most cases you shouldn’t because you’re lying to yourself and the other person. This might go a few places, but it should all make sense at the end.

Let me give you a professional example that I dealt with sometime back: There was this consulting company that I wanted to work for since I was in business school. As many times as I applied for the firm, I could never get an interview. So a few years later, I happened to run into the diversity recruiter for that firm, and she took my resume and sent it out to various recruiters in the US for that firm after we discussed what my long term career goals are. Unfortunately, the only callbacks I got from that firm were from areas within that were not aligned with my career goals, including some that would have set me back even more from obtaining my goal. Instead of pursuing those opportunities just to “get in the door” and being able to brag that I work for that firm, I respectfully declined going any further with the recruiters that contacted me. Although they perceived me to be not good enough for that specific practice within the firm due to my lack of direct work experience or lack of Top 10 MBA, I was not going to settle for just getting in the door at this point in my career. It would have been a waste of time for me and a waste of money for them. Maybe in a few years, the conversation could be revisited, but for right now it wasn’t going to happen.

From a romantic perspective, for those of us that are single, things like this happen to us in our dating lives pretty often. How often do you meet someone, they appear to embody everything you want in someone you date or court, then they come back and tell you (through word or deed) that they’re just not that into you, then they hit you with “but we can be friends”? If you’re reading this, you can probably think of several times this has happened to you. And I bet you most times you’re ok, all while concurrently hoping in the back of your subconscious that you can Urkel them. But in some cases, your failed pursuit ends up going on to date someone else, and if you haven’t reconciled yourself to having a legitimate friendship with that person absent of romantic feelings (and the friendship is solid), you have to sit there and watch someone else take what you feel (somewhere in your mind) should have been rightfully yours. And sometimes for us, we ignore this in ourselves, given that we have accepted our sentence in that person’s life to platonic prison without the possibility of parole.

One thing I know about American sports is that there is only one winner, and everyone else loses. In the words of Kobe Bryant, “2nd place just means you’re the first loser“. Only in competitions outside of the US (i.e. FIBA, FIFA, Olympics) do you see it where 2nd and 3rd place get a certain level of shine. Nope, not in America. If you lose, you give your nod, shake hands, pull up your skirt, and walk off the court or field while your opponent basks in the glory of winning the game. If the losing team stuck around to watch the other team celebrate (oops, I mean the OTHER TEAM CELEBRATE, that’s a little better), you as a fan of American sports would question their heart and their competitive spirit, right?

With those pictures in your mind now, here’s a scenario if you’re (legitimately) single: Think about the opposite sex friends that you have in your life that are also single, you are at least physically attracted to, that you consistently communicate with, and that you would date, all things equal (basically someone you have or could rekindle feelings for). If you found out right now at this very moment (regardless of how) that they were now in a committed relationship, would your first initial reaction be “Good stuff, I’m really happy for them, and I really hope that things work out” or “Awwwww HELL NAW” followed by a few expletives and that unspoken feeling you have in your mind comparable to this?

To conclude this, if you want to be someone’s boo or potential spouse, and you know you honestly can’t settle for the consolation prize of  being their friend, then don’t, especially if there are still feelings there and the other party knows that as well. Don’t be afraid to walk away when you don’t get what you desire out of the situation. And if you read that last paragraph and you fell into that latter category, this same advice applies to you as well. Believe me when I tell you that ALL of us will be on both sides of this equation. You will either be the one that fails at the pursuit (or enticement in the case of good women out there), or someone will be feeling you and the light won’t go off in your head to accept their advances. It’s an awkward place to be in, but it comes with the territory of living life.

Ultimately, you have to be real with yourself, know your true worth, and not be afraid or abashed about what it is that you desire. Don’t be afraid to reduce that sexy former classmate of yours to just a LinkedIn contact and delete their Twitter/Facebook/BBM/iChat/gchat/zchat/Cell. Said person could get upset and wonder why you don’t call them anymore, why you don’t follow them on twitter, or deleted them off facebook. But if that person respects your feelings and/or truly respects their relationship, then their ego should be good with it. If not, then you will get insight into that person’s character and values.

For those reading, how often have you been in this situation, regardless of what side of the fence you sat on? Have you found yourself settling for a friendship when you wanted a courtship (or just wanted some, LOL)? Let me know your thoughts.




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